I’ve fled to Bawa cafe to work but let me vent. On holiday one has an idealized picture of what it’ll be like when back at the desk. Surely, one rhapsodises, concentration and willpower will blossom, fed by grandiose vacation-time goals and sunshine downtime!
We got back late Tuesday and I woke early for the next two mornings but that’s as positive a report as I can provide about the first five days back. I’ve put in decent hours but remain daunted by the immense complexity of where I left off on my narrative, so instead I’ve been working on catching up on “nuclear” news from the last two months (Trump, Iran, North Korea, small modular reactors, China’s push, Saudi Arabia’s entry). Necessary but, let’s be frank, an avoidance tactic.
Tomorrow morning comes the proper restart. So says I.
Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead propping on my arse in a seaside holiday town, but the experience in magical Rovinj has been so wonderful that my aversion to sitting still now seems wrong. Seven nights in one place! No car (and limited drawcards near town)! Laziness but plenty of restorative exercise! A rare opportunity to review what an inspiring long trip has provoked!
So . . . I depart homeward today with many changes afoot, both in the short term and into the 2020s.
Nervous but excited.
Taking two months out of Big Year obsessiveness, it’s vital for me to prop and ask: am I okay or is change needed when I reboot in June? The last four days’ posts have assessed, for my benefit, each of my four Big Years, and I’m pleased to leave Australia’s shores with a smile on my face. 2018 has not unfolded quite as hoped, and I’ve battled myself and the world, but I’ve done myself proud.
So . . . a break and then leap back in, Andres!
Big daily goals – early rising, no morning Facebook, good planning, a thousand words slapped down – have produced dismal statistics, even allowing for some compulsory downtime. With a success rate of around 75% on my “process” goals and with the full 1,000 words/day fully achieved only a third of the time, how could I possibly count this as a “tick so far”? Well, it’s my life and I’ll accord a trembly tick to my 2018 so far. Why? Because I’m pouring blood, sweat, and tears into drafting the albatross book and the big year gives me the structure to do so.
Fear permeates the page, the pen, the eye, the mind.
If fear were absent, we’d be as good as dead.
Let me say it again: FaceBook is an invader massacring concentration. Let me say it again: FaceBook hoovers up concentration and atomises it. Let me say once more: concentration sees FaceBook walk through the door and bleats, “I surrender.”
Be precise, Andres. I love FaceBook, a magical aspect of my life. I don’t begrudge a minute on FaceBook EXCEPT when I’m trying to work.
So . . . the draconian rule of my Big Year that says “No FaceBook before noon” remains hard to enforce but invaluable. Today I’m obeying that rule and guess what? Success and fun!